How To Heal Relationships With The Power Of Perspective

In Mindfulness by coltonswabbLeave a Comment

[intense_blockquote]“Perspectives are to the mind as jewels are to a crown.” – Sean Wylie [/intense_blockquote]

One of the greatest abilities that meditation gives us, is the ability to alter our perspective.

That is, the ability to go within ourselves, and come out, seeing that the world around use has changed, without us having to move at all.

Another way to explain this, is that when you change the way you perceive things, the things themselves change. Or rather, your perception of them changes.

This is because our entire human lives are a matter of perspective.

To show you what I mean, and how you can use this inner-power to heal the relationships in your life, I want you to think about the last time you got into an argument or fight with someone…

Maybe it was your husband, or wife, girlfriend, mother, father, sister, brother – whoever.

Try to remember the context of the fight. Who was ‘right’ and who was ‘wrong’? Who did what and who reacted poorly to it?

There are a lot of ways fights can go down, and of course it’s all subjective.

Regardless of what exactly happened, someone did something that upset the other person, or vice versa.

For example, let’s say someone else did something that upset you.

To the other person their actions were totally justified. It was logical to them, and they don’t feel bad for acting that way (until you make them).

And your reaction to what they did, was also totally justified.

Each person believes they are in the ‘right’ and that the other person is in the ‘wrong’. This is the essence of all fights.

Of course, there’s no proving who truly won or lost the fight. And if you ask me, both parties are the losers here.

Simply by having the fight you’ve hurt the other person and your relationship with them. In no light is this ever a good thing. Not to mention all the wasted effort and energy you put into the fight.

Now, when you think about what came after the fight how many days, or weeks, did it take for your relationship to heal? If it ever did?

Last question… was it even worth it?

The consequences of the fight are rarely worth it, if ever.

In hindsight, these questions can be easy to answer. If only we had this clarity well within the fight, perhaps we could avoid the consequences altogether.

This is why this ability, gained by meditation, to alter our perspective and perception has such tremendous power. If you took the time to meditate before indulging in this fight, you could have avoided it all together.

You see, in these sort of arguments, or fights, you cannot control the other person. You never could, never can, and never will be able to.

Even if you try to control them, you are only setting yourself up for another fight down the line, because no one likes to be tied up.

But there is something you can control: your reaction.

No matter who does what, and who hurts who, you will always have control over your reaction. Which means, you will always have the power to starve a fight from within, knowing it won’t be worth it in the end. 

This opens the way to healing. 

Whatever took place was outside of your control and is now in the past. And oftentimes what happened is not nearly as bad as what happens during the fight that follows.

If you take the time to meditate, if only for 5-Minutes, you can alter the way you perceive the fight and stop the altercation before it even begins.

Or at least, you can make an honest effort to communicate the way you see things now, in the hope this helps the situation. Often this shows the other person that you care, and are willing to adapt your perspective, or step down for the sake of the relationship, which is a true sign of strength anyone can recognize. 

An exercise you can try anytime you find yourself upset over a situation with another, is to force yourself to think about the situation from a new perspective.

Think, “How will this situation affect me 5 years down the line.” If you find yourself answering, “It won’t.” Then chances are it isn’t worth the energy you are putting into it now.

And if you find that it will affect you 5 years, then you will realize that now is the time to give the other party forgiveness, or your apologies if you find yourself at fault.

This quick 5 years exercise is any easy way to rapidly shift your perspective by thinking linearly, that makes things obvious in contrast. Give it a quick try and you will see just how powerful this thought exercise is. 

If you are interested in learning how to meditate, so that you can practice shifting your perspective and heal your relationships with others (or avoid fights altogether)…

Then, I recommend checking out my book, ‘5-Minute Meditation’ in the menu of this page under the tab ‘Book.’

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